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There once was a man from Bel Air Who was doing his wife on the stair But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air. Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. Who danced the fandango on skates. These are a bit saucy and not safe for kids, just the way it should be on this website! Amazing Funny Facts and Crazy Statistics! There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Id say you can bet your Assonet! these are funny! I do have a bit of garden, and two balconys so I head out to those. Said he, Sneak in the house, There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. Funny Limericks: They Can Be Hard to Find! lol thanks nell. Crystal Tatum from Georgia on March 17, 2014: These are a lot of fun! And as for the bucket Nan took it! Maybe a bar-room poet. There was an old girl of Genoa / And I blush when I think that Iowa; / Shes gone to her rest, / Its all for the best, / Otherwise I would borrow Samoa. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were . She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher? But his daughter named Nan, Who lived on pig shit and snot There once was a girl in Milan, New fashions she liked to put on. thanks for reading, and I love the limerick! And instead of coming he went! Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. There was a young lady from Munich, Who wore a very short tunic. When Nan and her man School bus carrying 40 children plunges into creek in French Alps, Ian Wright says he loves Arsenal hero Reiss Nelson as he celebrates epic Bournemouth victory, He can do everything Michael Dawson blown away by Lisandro Martinez as Jeff Stelling rates Man Utd defender, Why VAR didnt award penalty to Arsenal for handball during Bournemouth clash, Man with MS so severe he cannot cut up his own food classed as fit to work, A boy wrote a poem about living with Aspergers and it will break your heart a little, World Poetry Day 2016: The best spring and Easter poems to celebrate poetry day, Do not sell or share my personal information. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck. I have no abilities like this, but I am so happy to read your work. Lear, who was born in1812, was all about a bit of funand wrotehis Book of Nonsense of 72 limericks in 1846 with exactly that in mind. Because the limerick is such a flexible form of verse, limericks for kids can be just as funny as clever limericks. These 'adult' poems for Limerick Day are totally NSFW - Metro Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Go to Jokes r/Jokes . I am glad you liked it! ha ha thanks so much for making me laugh! Joshua Zubricki, Gloucester, MA, Nan took the cash to Nantasket There once was a man from Nantucket - Wikipedia There once was a man from Nantucket,Whose cock was so long he could suck it,Said he with a grin,As he wiped off his chin,If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it! By carrying her stash Youll be spitting out some poetry while your friends are spitting out laughs. glad it made you laugh! Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on February 17, 2017: ROFL! were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers. It is believed that limericks date back to the 14th century and originated in the Irish town of Limerick. Limericks are always good, racy fun. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 'Nantucket Man is all of us' "The man in Nantucket who gave Joe Biden the middle finger today has a higher approval rating than Joe Biden," one person joked. After national outcry, Cruz returned early and . All of are parties were bawdy and limericks were a fixture that induced competition and mixed well with the mud, the blood and the beer. Who saw Brandon and told him to _____." I just made it up when posting. Nantucket is in fact a real place, based in Massachusetts, USA. Ran away with a man, and thanks, nell. Luv Ya! Chicago Tribune, Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset, One Saturday morning at three / A cheesemongers shop in Paree / Collapsed to the ground / With a thunderous sound / Leaving only a pile of de brie. thanks for reading, nell. NFL . If you have any more good limericks you are welcome to post them in the section below. His balls went clang There once was a man from Nantucket - Simple English Wikipedia, the The man punched at the bucket in shock. Hed both seen and heard; If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it! Ah Ha. It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn. A flea and a fly in a flue / Were imprisoned, so what could they do? He said with a grin, while wiping his chin. She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time. and see Mhatter99 too. How to create your own funny website and make money in the comedy sector. (B) Da da dum da da dum Its a common limerick, and many people know it and use it hundreds of years later. / But how is the sage / To discern from this page: / Was it piglets, or seeds, that were sowing? Try these physics jokes. Nell Rose (author) from England on February 01, 2012: Thanks Vinaya, they are the one thing that always makes people smile when they hear them! He utterly lacked, I like your choice, ribald or not, it's just something to have fun with. kind of witty but you know what people expect when they anticipate a limmerick. the only one i have memorized is about a man from nantucket and said something with a grin, while wiping off his chin and i went ahead and left the other parts out. this.. An oyster from Kalamazoo / Confessed he was feeling quite blue. Uh Uumm! yes Larry is quite the poet don't you think? I am rather fond of these bawdy little ditties( careful!) Drew his Peterson Guide from his pocket, Rating: 3 /5 (3 Votes) or Email Friend Which grew from the sides of her twat. / For he said, As a rule, / When the weather turns cool, / I invariably get in a stew.. Many British and Irish communities would gather in pubs to sing and drink, and limericks were common for the crowd to sing to unite them in good times. His daughter named Nan, Ran off with a man. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass. For more feathery plays on words, try some of these bird puns that will quack you up. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. Kevin Foley , Vienna, Austria, A birdwatching Brit. "There once was a man from Nantucket" is the opening line for many limericks, in which the name of the island of Nantucket creates often ribald rhymes and puns. Yep, its awhole bunch of limericks thatll have you clicking to shrink your browser. 75 Funny Limericks to make you laugh | Pun.me And offer to settle; Limericks can be traced as far back in History as the fourteenth Century, starting in England. The first publication of limericks began in the 18th century, but didnt really gain any popularity until the 19th century. Funny and very entertaining. Just take this here oyster and shuck it 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side Lols. Nell Rose (author) from England on December 08, 2011: Hi, Martie, I love limericks, I can't even remember why I started this hub, must have been in a joking mood! hbbd```b``3+dE4A$09L A long time ago meaning | Common English Idioms #shorts. Larry Fields from Northern California on May 11, 2012: I should have expressed myself more clearly. Whether this is true or not, they have certainly been vulgarised today. thanks so much for reading, cheers nell. There once was a girl named Lilly who often liked to be silly she put a spoon upon her nose then she wrote a bit o' prose and called it mexican chilly ! Ahem. There was once a young girl who said: Why / Cant I look in my ear with my eye? There was a lewd whore from Nantucket who intended to pee in a bucket; but being a man she missed the damn can and her rattled johns fled, crying: "Fuck it!" Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch Here's another bawdy Nantucket limerick, author unknown: There once was a man from Nantucket Whose schlong was so long he could sucket There once was a girl from Nantucket, Who crossed the sea in a bucket, And when she got there, They asked for a fare, So she pulled up her dress and said f*uck it! It was winter, alas. Was known as a silly young ninny, Cheers. I can tick it! I will have to remember that one! But failed and in wrath cried Aw shuck it! Youll use the phrase in public, typically in an X-rated format, to tell someone that you dont care about what they are saying or a task you are doing. A magazine writer named Bing / Could make copy from most anything; / But the copy he wrote / of a ten-dollar note / Was so good he now lives in Sing Sing. Advised the two people to chuck it / It seems theyve been trying forever / To find x, y, and z / And its quite clear to me: / If theyve not found them yet then theyll never. Thanks for reading. Confused? Funny Nantucket limericks brilliant Paula! 0 With a big carving knife, What is the joke there onces was a man from Nantucket? haha! lol! (A) Da da dum da da dum da da dum Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. John Hansen from Australia (Gondwana Land) on December 09, 2015: Hi Nell, I know I am five years late, but i just came across this hub and I love limericks. lol! Here's one my mother used to recite--it may be from Lear, but I'm not certain: Nell Rose (author) from England on December 10, 2015: LOL! and its great to hear some new ones. A nanny left home for Nantucket, Nell Rose (author) from England on March 16, 2011: Hi, jamiecoins, thanks for the comment, glad you liked it, cheers nell. Nell Rose (author) from England on May 19, 2011: Hi, Thatguypk, lol brilliant! There once was a man from Nantucket would turn into a staple of American humor, featuring on TV shows like The Simpsons, Suits, Hey Arnold! Whose prick was so long he could suck it. The whole thing should carry an anapesticbeat two short syllables followed by a long one that goes something like: (A) Da da dum da da dum da da duma Box 626, Nantucket, MA 02554, or email your limerick. For he told a fat girl she was skinny! A forgetful old gasman named Dieter, / Who went poking around his gas heater, / Touched a leak with his light; / He blew out of sight / And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter. 507 0 obj <>stream As he wiped off his chin, if my mouth was a cunt I could fuck it. ha ha thanks again nell. (A) Da da dum da da dum da da dum. A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter, Build an API from a CSV file in 4 minutes. Let's start with a few basics. Princeton Tiger. Continue with Recommended Cookies. If you prefer something with less than five lines, try these hilarious one-liners. There once was a man from sprocket I have looked everywhere for the photo, but this was before we were told to add links, and I wish I had now, I think, If I remember right, that I put in google search something like tavern wench, but I am not sure, sorry, I will take another look because its driving me mad now! There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Sure, Nan and her man left and tucket You found some choice ones there, Nell! Who gave me his Nantucket Bucket, / Said the two to the tutor, / Is it harder to toot, or / To tutor two tooters to toot?, A rather disgruntled young Viking / Found plunder was not to his liking / When they yelled All ashore, / He just threw down his oar / And announced, Im not striking, Im striking!. Wherever did you find them all? Thanks for the laughs. If youre all grown up now and you love cracking short jokes or clever jokes, why not add a few funny limericks to your repertoire? What is the original "There once was a man from Nantucket" joke? When she ran out of these Who swallowed some samples of paint, Hi Nell, one of my hubber friends, kallini2010, just sent me a link to this hub of yours. Oh, and how I needed all the smiles youve given me in here. Did she think on that bucket Martie Coetser from South Africa on December 08, 2011: Nell, do you have any idea who painted that lady with the feathered hat? There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose dick was so long he could suck it. grafix!). so I am glad you liked them and I hope your brother in law does too, thanks for stopping by, cheers nell. thanks for reading, nell, Hi Deborah, good to see you too, and thanks as always, nell. Nell Rose (author) from England on May 11, 2012: Hi Sue, lol! There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. Is algebra fruitless endeavor? / Til the bath salts one day, / in the tub where she lay, / turned out to be Plaster of Paris. Next, take a step back from the funniest jokes and check out these inspirational poems. Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Lori Colbo from United States on September 21, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on September 09, 2011: Hi, Dustin, appreciate it! Rashly swallowed a package of seeds. But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man . How to spell the potato has tried / Many minds, sometimes mine, Ill confide. Audrey Howitt from California on March 17, 2014: Nell Rose (author) from England on January 04, 2013: Hi teaches, lol! Al Gini, Loyola University Chicago . If you like mysteries, psychic phenomena, true stories or just a good laugh, please feel free to click on my Profile page, the link is below, it would be great to see you.